Friday, December 21, 2007

Never play a stock ; Play the analyst...

Ok, scumbags. You didn’t listen when I tipped you in on Sugar stocks. Now grieve. No, I don’t look at fundamentals. I don’t look at technicals. That’s for friggin’ chartists who make a living by staring at computer screens and fooling the world with their harebrained forecasts that never come true. They work for an end of month paycheck and commissions. You and I bet our hard earned money on the stocks that these guys `think’ would go up… If you do, you’ll be getting out soon. Out of this game.

In India, you bet on politics. I always do. I bet on the minister. More influential he is, more loyal his voters are. That's why I tipped sugar stocks. Look at this “sweet” guy Sharad Pawar, Agriculture Minister. He answers my wish list to the T. I know how his mind works. I’ll share it with you. This guy loves just two things - the sugar belt of Baramati and BCCI, one of world's richest sports (Cricket) bodies. Let’s keep cricket out for the time being. The folks over there at Baramati, eat sugarcane for breakfast and molasses for lunch. They sleep on mats made out of cane leaves and wear sugar coats for dinner. They don’t drink water, they feast on cane juice. They all die of diabetes and the chemists there have made their fortunes just by selling insulin. The only thing they know is to vote this guy Pawar back to power. That’s it – isn't it simple enough? Either they are at the cane fields or at the polling booth. That's how they lead their lives. He will give us more of good news on Sugar because he needs those sugar coated votes. The folks at Baramati don’t vote if it isn’t dude Pawar’s name on the ballot. So I say, buy sugar stocks. As much as you can. I do. Never sell your sugar stocks so long as you got this Sugar Daddy at the top and as long as analysts keep talking it down. Sell them only if pawar man leaves the deck or when analysts talk it up.

Now mill owners, keep a steady supply of Ethanol even during weak season. Daddy will hike the blending ceiling from 10% to as much as you can make. He’s struck a deal with that Deora guy at Petroleum ministry. They’re on phone all the time. When they meet in public, they wink and nod a lot. Export subsidy? Granted. Kamal Nath won’t object. A deal there too. Co-generation ? Go ahead. Life’s good. That's my fundamental and technical analysis for you. What say you...?
Don’t believe a word those friggin' analysts say. They all will trash a sector while their broking bosses are stocking up on it. When they’ve had enough, they’ll talk as if that’s going to be the next big thing. That’s when you should dump your stocks and rip those suckers.

Don’t play the stock. Play the fuckin' analyst. You heard me….!

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